The Account of Mrs. Magi
by Kent Walkemeyer
You know the Christmas story of the Magi. But do you know the story behind the story? The story of Mrs. Magi?
You see, the events surrounding the Magi almost didn’t happen. One of the Magi almost didn’t get out of town. It happened like this.
After a long day at the office doing…well, whatever it is that Magi do at the office…studying ancient manuscripts, stargazing, and so forth, Mr. Magi rushed home and excitedly announced, “I’m taking a trip!”
“You’re what?” exclaimed his wife, Mrs. Magi.
“I’m taking a trip! We all are! Me and the guys.”
“The guys and I,” Mrs. Magi corrected. “Where are you going?”
“We don’t know exactly. Headin’ west.”
“In a wagon train, I suppose,” retorted Mrs. Magi sarcastically.
“Nope. Camel train.” Mr. Magi was already packing. “Let’s see, extra turban, long underwear for those cold nights.”
“Wait a minute,” frowned Mrs. Magi. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you? Where are you going?”
“West,” answered the busy packer. “To Judea, we think. Probably Jerusalem, the capitol.”
“Judea?” Mrs. Magi interrupted. “Judea? Judea? Is this a joke? Judea is halfway around the world!”
“Well, not halfway,” corrected Mr. Magi.
“How long do you expect to be gone?” Mrs. Magi was still having trouble digesting the whole thing. “You know we have the company picnic next week. And your mother is coming to visit after that. You will NOT leave me here alone with her!” she announced angrily.
“Honey, I know. I’m sorry.” He stopped packing for a moment and looked up. “We could be gone for several months, maybe more.” Mrs. Magi’s jaw dropped. For once, she was speechless. “I know it’s a lot to take in,” he explained, “but we have to go. You see, we believe that a great event has happened in Judea. We believe that a king has been born.”
“A king? In Judea?” Mrs. Magi was getting her bearings again. “If that’s the case, he’d be a Jewish king. We aren’t Jewish! Why do you care? Why are you going halfway around the world to visit the king of a tiny little county and an insignificant little religion?”
“It is not halfway around the world,” Mr. Magi corrected again. “And it’s not an insignificant little religion. We believe that a star has told us…”
“The stars?” Mrs. Magi started in again. “The stars? You mean to tell me you’re going halfway around the world because the stars told you to?”
“It’s not halfway, and actually, just one star.” Mr. Magi grinned sort of a silly grin and Mrs. Magi rolled her eyes. He continued, “We believe this star is a sign of the birth of a king, and not just any king, not just a Jewish king, but a universal king, a great king who will affect the whole world by his rule.”
“Is this your mid-life crisis? What are you thinking?”
“I know it’s hard to understand, but we believe that in the universal order of things…”
“What are taking?” Mrs. Magi interrupted. Her thoughts were on far more practical things than the universal order. “If you’re going that far, you’ll probably want to take the good camel, right?”
“Well…” Mr. Magi started but was interrupted again.
“You know I hate that other camel. Don’t leave me here with him. He’s stupid, stubborn, and has bad feet.”
Mr. Magi nodded, “Yes, I know he needs some work done on his feet.”
“He needs a sword across his neck, that’s what he needs.” Mrs. Magi was obviously not happy about the turn of events this evening had brought.
Mr. Magi tried to change the subject, “I also need to take most of the servants.”
“Oh great,” Mrs. Magi sighed. “Just what I need. A bad camel, and no help around here with your mother coming. Is there anything else I need to know? Tell me now, Mr. Wise Guy, and get it over with.”
“Yes, well…one more thing,” he hesitated. “Could you help me gather up all of our gold?”
He wasn’t completely sure, but the last thing Mr. Magi thought he heard from his wife as she stormed out of the room was something about seeing a marriage counselor when he got home.